Honor. Instruct. Protect.
“Children, obey your parents… honor your father and mother… Fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” – Ephesians 6:1,2,4, CSB
“Put on the full armor of God so that you can stand against the schemes of the devil.” – Ephesians 6:11, CSB
Honor is for always
This isn’t just kid stuff. Yes, it is good and right for children to obey their parents, and even more importantly, to learn to honor them (Ephesians 1:2). Honoring isn’t just for the childhood years; it is for a lifetime, continuing long after the child has grown. And what’s even more challenging is this: no child has a sinless parent! This is no small thing then: honoring is going to take great effort. How can parents make that a bit easier?
Gracious discipline
Fathers – and mothers, too, by the way! – are entrusted by the Lord with the responsibility to bring up their children in the training and instruction of the Lord, and how they do this matters. “Don’t stir up anger in your children” is a recognition that it’s all too easy to do exactly that. We must learn to bring direction, discipline, and instruction with not only firm consistency but also gracious gospel care. Are we going to make mistakes? Yes. But we have help – and hope!
Guarding hearts and homes
It's no accident that Paul’s instructions to “Put on the full armor of God” follow right after so many instructions regarding the way we relate to one another, culminating with the various ‘at home’ relationships of the first-century family. With these family instructions freshly in mind, putting on the full armor of God is not something we do only for ‘out there’ but also for at home, in here, right now.
The devil’s schemes to stir up division, resentment, confusion, anger, and frustration don’t have a boundary line at our front door. Key to long term spiritual health and relational health is pointing our children’s hearts and minds – not to mention our own hearts and minds! – toward Jesus and His life-changing gospel. The spiritual and relational health we find in Him is vital for sustaining whatever ministry and service to which God calls them – and us – ‘out there.’
Think:
Whether you’re 5, 15, 25, or 85, the challenge to honor your mother and father in the way you act toward them and in the way you speak about them to others comes with a promise of blessing and endurance for you. Read Ephesians 5:1-3 one more time and breathe in that promise! Learning to honor is worth the effort.
What is one way you could honor your mother and father in the days ahead? Have you ever dishonored them? Take the opportunity to ask God to forgive you for that. Then, if possible and safe, initiate a conversation with your mother or father to ask them to forgive you too. (Note: In the case of abuse, honor doesn’t mean you must keep dark family secrets or covering up abuse in the name of ‘honoring.’ It means choosing to treat parents with dignity and grace. You may need to set healthy boundaries, and you may need to seek help to know how to do that prior to initiating any conversation with someone who has abused you.)
If you have children, do you know what kinds of things tend to stir anger in them? When you need to correct or instruct them, how could you do it in a way that points them to life in Christ? Is there any area of your relationship with your children where you may need to repent? How could you do that in a way that initiates reconciliation and relationship?
Every aspect of the armor of God in Ephesians 6:13-17 points to the gospel: putting on what is true, putting on the righteousness of Christ and the good news of God-initiated peace, taking up faith in who Jesus is and what He has done and promised, reminding ourselves of our salvation in Him, and using God’s word to cut through the schemes and deceptions of the enemy. And then… we pray (6:18)! We pray these things for our kids, our parents, our families, our churches, and for our work together in the world.
Prayer:
“Lord, help me to cultivate a gospel culture in my own family in a way that helps them apply the gospel to their own hearts, minds, and relationships. Give me - and us - grace and wisdom to honor well, to receive input well, and to repent well. Help us to live in Your strength and Your grace toward one another at home, as well as in all of our ‘out there’ adventures!”